Don't take it so personal

 Here lately there has been a lot of talk about beliefs and religion. And for anybody who doesn't know, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints also known as the Mormon church. My faith is something very personal to me mostly because they were something I had to fight for, I wanted to join the church when I was teenager but my father wouldn't allow it. When, I finally join as an adult I had to endure my family's disapproval of my choice. I had to deal with the people I loved and who were supposed to love me say every closed-minded comments about the church I had picked to attend. Some came around and if nothing else accepted that it was my choice other's never did come around. When you have to fight that hard for your belief's they become very personal, you become very passionate about them. That's why I hate when somebody says something hurtful about my belief's then tells me, " don't take it so personal". Because to me it is personal! I just don't understand why I wouldn't take it personal? Everybody has something that they are passionate about, belief's that define them, morals that they live their life by.

I could just kick myself !!!

Have you ever done something that you knew almost right away was wrong? What do you do? Do you beat yourself up? Do you blow it off and just pretend that you didn't do it? It's easy to just pretend something didn't happen when no body saw it. Who knows? Who does it hurt? We tell ourselves that nobody knows so it's okay. It can be something simple like sneaking a piece of cake when nobody is looking even though we are trying to make healthier choices. Or it might be something bigger like stealing something, watching something we shouldn't watch. So, what do we do? Should we live a life of shame or should we ask God to forgive us and then forgive ourselves? Is it okay to give ourselves a break? Is it okay to slip? Yes, is the answer when its something small like cheating on our diet. But is yes always the right answer?

Can you see me? Can you hear me ?

 Some days, I feel invisible. I try so hard to be kind, I work hard to fit in but I still don't feel like I'm a part of the group. Do you know what it feels like to say something and have other's not only ignore what you have said but to carry on their own conversation. There are days where I wonder if I even exist.

 I have my family and my close friends but sometimes I still feel alone. It doesn't always feel good to stick out. Sometimes when you stick out you are ignored or not liked because you do stick out. I just want to have friends that we can have dinners with, play games with or go do things with.

The New Year ~2012

 So, today is the New Year, a day people reflect on the past year and their lives. A day were many set resolutions, some decide its time for a diet, others feel that this is the perfect time to quit smoking or maybe drinking, other's decide this time/this year they are going to try new things or find true love. I have never been one to set resolutions mostly because I know that many times I set unreal expectations for myself. I think that is something we all do, I'm gonna go on a diet and exercise everyday. Then you want to go out to eat with friends or you decide to pick up some burgers on the way home. You decide a little slip on the diet is okay as long as you "work" it off the next day. The next morning it's cold outside or raining or whatever and you decide missing one day won't hurt. But we all know that once you start to slip it's all down hill.
 That's why this year I'm making promises to myself, things I want to work on or improve for or about myself. This year I'm going to try to stay positive and not let the day to day things get to me. I'm going to treat everyday like the gift it truly is, a gift from God. This year I'm going to try harder to read my scriptures everyday even though it is hard and frustrating. The old English style is hard for me to understand and read do to my learning problems. But I know even though it's slow and extremely hard for me reading my scriptures will bring me nothing but blessings. This year I will attend the temple as much as possible. It took me years to work my way to the temple, I spent years with the desire to attend the temple and now I can do it so I need too.
 I will try to spend more time as a family by having family home evening and family dinners. Dinners were we sit around the table eating and talking. I want my children to look back with love and fondness. I also want to be a better member of The Church of Latter Day Saints, I want people to see me as a positive example of what my church stands for and what I stand for. I also want to be a better person. I want to be less judgemental, more understanding, more caring and kind.